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My Life in Purgatory

September 4, 2009

Right.  Well.  It’s been a while since I last posted anything.  I haven’t been dead, but I haven’t been all that lively either.  That fact that I’ve been doing so little of interest day-to-day lately may be part of the reason I haven’t been champing at the bit to post anything.  However, I have to admit that at the base of it, I’ve been being That Guy. You know the one.   The one with a readership-of-one blog that almost never posts, and when he does, it’s to apologize for the lack of posts.  I hate that guy.  And that guy is me.

I’ve got a couple of hopefully worthwhile posts simmering, but for now, all I’ve got is a smattering of Random Ohioishness:

First off, while wandering around Big Lots a while back, I spotted a most unfortunately named product:

Because sometimes I just need to get my hands on a nice milky muffin top.

Because sometimes I just need to get my hands on a nice milky muffin top.

For those  blissfully unaware of why this is funny, which apparently includes the team of crack brand managers at Malt-O-Meal, I’ve drawn up the following diagram for clarification:

You are what you eat?

You are what you eat?

If that weren’t enough, a few weeks later, I found these:

The family that spoons together stays together I guess.

The family that spoons together stays together I guess.

I can only imagine the battery of executives, marketers, graphic designers, and focus groups that these two little products had to bore their way through in order to get on store shelves.  Did no one notice? Did no one raise their hand and say “Uh, guys…”?  Seriously, how many truckloads of these things got shipped before someone called up and said, “Hey, do you guys know your kids cereals are named after fat rolls and fondling positions?”

Moving along.

As it turns out, lonely power lines look much the same in Northwest Ohio as they do in North Texas:

 As it turns out, lonely power lines look much the same in Northwest Ohio as they do in North Texas

Some of the Local Wildlife at Buttonwood Recreation Area:

Here’s a few from Oak Openings, the largest of the Toledo metro parks:

I'm told wildlife can be photographed successfully, just not by me.

I'm told wildlife can be photographed successfully, just not by me.

Sand dunes. In Ohio. Sweet.

And lastly:  I thought about dropping of a resume with these guys just so that in my cover letter, I could express my keen interest in virtual reality, black trench coats, and creepy-ass robo-octopi:

I'm saving up my nickels and dimes so someday I can buy myself a Sentinal

Well.  My self loathing has abated for now.

‘Til next time

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